Yep you’ve read it correctly I’ve got the writing bug again.  I’m in a not sleeping phase; I have them often and I think it’s a lot to do with working shifts, but I seem to be writing with this one which is fabulous news!  I’m not sure whether it’s to do with a new work out regime, which for the record is torture, that is giving me loads of energy, or a new muse.

I never really saw myself as the sort of person to have a muse, but at the moment I’m being greatly inspired by an individual source.  The source shall remain unidentified, but the inspiration flows.  I get inspired by random things everyday; the notes function on my iPhone is awash with phases, sights, sounds, character traits I wish to remember and apply, and I’m sure many writers can relate be it a notebook or more modern technology of some form, but I’ve never gained so much from one source before.  I’m trying to utilise it whilst it lasts.

I often wonder if people have a prolific writing time.  I’m not a morning person at all, getting up for work nearly kills me and I know I couldn’t get up any earlier, but then I tend to be shattered after 13 hours on my feet walking here, there and everywhere.  And it’s 1am now and I’m up writing.  I don’t think I have a set best time.  Maybe one day when I can give up work, because I’m an uber successful writer with multimillion pound deals, I can I’ll normalise my body clock and have a writing schedule, but presently it’s very much around work and work outs.  I always was a dreamer!

Back to the writing board for me…

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The ultimate hop, skip and jump (well bounce), but you get the correlation.

Going back to my previous blog on the sticky middle; I’ve decided to hop, skip and jump the point I’m stuck on.  My work in progress, CB&S, now has ITALY written across in size 46 font.  I’m thinking if I can’t write then it probably doesn’t need to exist, but I know in the editing stage I need to add layers, so maybe it will be a layer.  I’m hoping it will open up the block and allow the words to flow.

I’ve also started a new piece; but I don’t think anyone will ever see it.  I think, it’s something I’m purely writing for myself.  I suspect at some point I may actually delete it.  It’s called S? (not to be confused with S, or TS, or CB&S; I’ve just noticed I obviously like words with S as my titles.)

I recently found my childhood writing at my parents, I’m not even sure they know about it, and like above no one will see it.  It’s mainly fanfic, not that I knew fanfic existed, when I get time I plan to read it and see how much I’ve changed and developed as a writer, and I’m sure I’ll cringe too.  I know something though, my assignment writing skills have improved from fiction writing.  Although, the act of fiction writing is much more pleasurable and I don’t feel the need to sit at my desk when doing it.  Some of the skills are very transferable.

Writing is taking a back seat to my assignment.   I resent it, but its necessary.  The assignment is a degree module for my career, and until I manage to get past the sticky middle, finish a manuscript, find an agent, get published, and earn enough to sustain myself – then it’s going to be my career for a while yet.  I start my next module in March and then hopefully my next in September.  I need 120 credits in three years, and I refuse to allow myself to get anything less 2:1.

Anyhoo enough random babbling.  I kind of went off at many tangents this evening!

Here’s the awkward truth about being a military wife, it’s lonely.  Of course in the literal sense I am alone, but in the subtle ways which you take for granted.

No hugs, no kisses, no cuddling up to someone in bed or the sofa, obviously no sex, no playful fighting, no one to warm my feet, and no subtle squeezes and strokes.  A phone call or skype cannot provide that; arms aren’t going to reach out of the phone or monitor and embrace me.  After a week my waist craves the feel of arms and I end up hugging my friends and family far more.  I crave the attention and touch.

Think, how many times you interact with your partner on a physical level in a day?

A day closer to home.

I know this blog has focused more on the deployment recently than my writing, but I promise in the new year I’ll share the focus more evenly.

It’s been two weeks tomorrow since he’s been gone.  We’ve spoke a few times and I got a beautiful Christmas present from Tiffany & Co (I wouldn’t have if he’d been here).  I think it must be the time of year but crickey have these two weeks dragged!  I’m hoping once the new year kicks in it will speed by, and he’ll be home before I know it.  It seems to have dragged even though I’ve worked loads, and been so busy.

Christmas was very much a non-event as twelve hours of it were spent at work.  I went to my friend house after work, had a gorgeous Christmas dinner and got to watch their children open their presents we’d bought.  I was very lucky to have spent Christmas eve with my family and in-laws giving and receiving gifts, and I was very spoilt.  Made me realise how lucky I was to have such a great family; even though they are two hours away.

Now for new year’s eve; I’ve been fortunate enough to be invited to Sheffield, Wales, Newcastle, but seeing as I haven’t started my assignment yet, due in on the 3rd January, I need to be near enough to home, and sober enough, to do it.  A friend has told me I’m miserable, so he’s going to drag me out with him apparently, it could be an experience.

Right, I’m off to cook my dinner before heading to work.  I hope you had a happy christmas and have a wonderful new year.

Last night I watched as my hub went through check in and disappeared for at least four months.

If you’ve read my previous blogs you’ll know this isn’t the first tour we’ve been through.  There has been Iraq, Afghanistan and he was on a short trip to Germany (one week); when he was re-directed to Italy to help support the Lybia airstrikes and returned home eight weeks later.  So, it’s not the first time and I suspect it won’t be the last.  (Even if they don’t let him re-sign on, and he’s out in two and a half years, but that’s a whole new blog.)

I managed not to cry my eyes out, but I suspect that’s because friends were with us.  I had a few tears as I got in my car he’d text me from the departures, after security, and told me to keep smiling – which is what he always said when he was in Afghanistan.

I know he’s not going to be in danger, unless he winds up too many penguins, but it’s more the fact he’s not going to be here.  A super king sized bed is far too big for one girl!

Now you may be sensible in assuming this will leave me lots of time for writing; after my assignment.  But you’d be wrong.  Whilst he was in Iraq and Afghan I couldn’t write at all.  One of my fellow Nomads, Steph B, suggested maybe it was because the house was too quiet and it’s something I’ll bear in mind for this time.  I should be able to put my experiences to good use, and I hope I can write this time.

There is one small thing that winds me up; people keep saying it’s only the Falklands at least he’ll be safe. It’s never been about the danger, although it does play in the back of your mind, at least they’ll be no Op Minimise.  It’s more the fact he’s not here.  There’s no one to cuddle up to, no one to wind me up just because, no one to whinge to, and no one to share in the house work!

At least I’ve got good friends to rally round and keep me sane!

The sticky middle.

Ok, so I’ve admitted it.

I really struggle to finish any book I start.  I don’t know why.

Here’s my incriminating history:

S – Sci-fi – Was plotted so finely I knew everything that was going to happen.  I wrote in a bizarre style where I would write whichever chapter or scene took my fancy like the last chapter I wrote when my hub had just deployed so I could channel all that emotion, but when it came to knit it all together I couldn’t.  Plus I realised how rubbish it was.

TS – Sci-fi – Was again plotted, but after receiving feedback I changed the piece so much it didn’t feel like mine anymore and I got overwhelmed with the knock on effect I knew it would have on the ten’s of thousands of words that followed it.

The current:

CB&S – chick-lit – I know where I want it to go, but can’t seem to get it there.  I’ve tried to not to write a detailed plot to see if that’s my down fall but I now feel lost in the sticky middle.

I know the title and the rough arc of my next book…

The next:

IADD – chick-lit – I’ve jotted down my ideas so I don’t lose them, but I resisting every fibre in my body not to run off and write it.

Any tips on getting past the sticky middle?

It makes me lose drive, and when I look at my fellow NOMADS who are storming ahead with writing and editing, and then I look at myself and I can make of excuses to why I’m so stretched for time, but they are just that, excuses.

The reality is I’m stuck.  Like with S when I got stuck I jumped to the next part I felt I could write, and ended up with a jumble of scenes that I couldn’t knit together.  Or TS if I make a change to the bits I’ve already written will it overwhelm me to edit the rest of it.  Or maybe I just keep taking the easy route out and start writing beginnings.

I’ve always favoured beginnings, my favourite Lord of the Ring’s is the Fellowship of the Ring, where the Fellowship is established.  Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, when Harry is getting ready for Hogwarts…maybe I’m a beginning junkie.

My name is Natalie and I’m a beginning junkie… so how do I break the cycle…

My name is Natalie and I'm a beginning junkie...

The balancing act...

What is the pre-deployment puzzle you may be thinking well it’s:

Trying to find the balance between not alienating your friends before your husband leaves on deployment, but trying to spend enough time with your husband before he leaves.

It’s not an easy task, especially in the run up to Christmas.  I have roughly three weeks before the hub leaves and working full-time and I have my degree assignment due in on the 3rd January.

Most friends usually understand that you won’t be seeing them that much of them, but you will need them a lot whilst he’s gone then won’t see them for a while when he get’s back as you’ll be reacquainting yourselves.  But there is always the friends that don’t really get it, and they’re the ones you have to decide if they really are friends.  Are they the ones you can call when you’re having a really lonely time, the ones you can pop round to without notice and who will invite you in regardless, and the ones who keep an eye out for you.

If it wasn’t for friends I would have really struggled through my last tour, especially when I did so much over time I got really sick, and I’m hoping that they will be here this time.

My hubs initial deployment date was May next year, then they moved it to April – with standby starting in December, and low and behold he’s off in approximately 35 days.  He came home on Monday and told me my response of ok was met with surprise, but whats the point of getting upset/annoyed/angry, it’s not going to change anything.  Not that I’m saying they wont be tears when he leaves, of course there will be I’ll miss him.  A lot.  No amount of tours prepare you for the empty bed.

He’s off to the Falklands this time; he’d prefer to go back to Afghanistan, which may shock some of you (he is relatively safe in his job – so he tells me).  At least in Afghanistan there is constant entertainment, sense of support and the bonus at the end.  In the Falklands by all accounts it’s rather bleak, although I am trying to persuade him to talk his DSLR camera to get some photos (especially of penguins), although his usual subject is sports photography.

From other wives accounts there two groups of people over in the Falklands; gym and pub.  I think my hub will go over with every intention of being in the gym group, but will fail miserably and end up being a pubber - this is the first full tour he’s done where he is allowed to drink (Iraq and Afghanistan for the UK troops are dry camps).

I’m facing my first Christmas alone.  I work 12 hour shifts and live two hours from both families.  I’m working days Christmas day and boxing day, so the commute would be pointless with the time I could spend with the families.  Luckily, I have an awesome set of friends in a nearby village who have happily said they’ll have after work on Christmas day so I wont be coming back to an empty house.

I’m trying to get the hub organised this time, I don’t want to go through the drama we had to endure when we were given 11 hours to deploy for Afghanistan – pure chaos as he spent his last hours packing, but I may as well talk to the wall!

Nat

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Created by Imran Siddiq

I’m astounded by the creativity and imaginations of my fellow writers within the nomad novelist writers group (NNWG).  We have our first weekend meet up, seven of the nine of us are going, tomorrow in Oxford.

Over the past two weeks, mainly today, I’ve been critiquing 2000 words of each attendees work.

I am so proud to be grouped in with such amazing people.  We vary in our genres; romance, paranormal, thriller, sci-fi, fantasy and in our experience, but share our passion.

My fellow writers tackle subjects of religion, eugenics, physics, love, death, passion, hatred, battles and war – to name but a few.

It was a joy to critique their work, and I am more than a little nervous to receive their critique of mine.  After the trauma of the critiquing – where we are forbidden to speak when being critiqued so we can’t defend our pieces until the discussion after (eeek) – we’re heading to the pub, and hopefully we will still be speaking!

Our logo is above which the fabulous Imran created, check out his blog here http://www.imranwrites.com

I’ll be back after the weekend, and I’ll update you then.

Nat.

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My sister-in-law is back!  It’s great to have her home.  We’re more like sisters than in-laws to be honest.

She has been away three and a half months, and is a nurse in ITU.  It’s strange what gets you through a tour, and for her it’s been the fact she is getting married in June next year.  I, like many, sent parcels, eblueys and abused her a little for book research purposes, but I couldn’t believe that her friend received nothing.

I’d never met the poor girl, and neither had my SIL until she got out there, but she told me she felt sorry for her because she never received any parcels from her family, friends or fiancé.  I was astounded so sent her a parcel of pajamas and a couple of films.  I got the loveliest card in return and can’t wait to meet up with her at my SIL hen party, if not before.

I just can’t image having and friend or loved one over there and not sending anything.  My husbands next tour has been moved forwards about six months, and although he’s only off to the Falklands I’ll still be sending plenty of parcels.  It lets them know that they are loved, thought about, and the fact that someone took the time to put that parcel together.

It’s no wonder charities like Afghan Heroes exist.  http://www.afghanheroes.org.uk my hub was lucky enough to get one of their ‘home comfort’ boxes whilst he was in Afghanistan.  It was the first time I’d heard of them, but they do a range of fantastic work.

I’ll be seeing my SIL soon and I’m sure we shall talk, talk and talk some more-whilst bridesmaid dress shopping with the two weirdest people I have ever had the misfortune to meet, but that for another blog.

Nat